But, I don’t want 2015 to be nothing BUT business. Throughout 2014 I found myself over-scheduled, and lacking in quality time (for myself, with my kids, and my husband). These are major aspects of life that are the worst and easiest to forgo when running your own business. It is incredibly frustrating to discover on a weekly basis, that your “clean laundry” is practically non-existent and your “dirty laundry” is competing with Everest. I am a very organized individual. But, that doesn’t mean that I get to everything on my daily “to-do” list. And, after lunching with writer pal, Jade A. Waters (look, Jade! I included the “A”), it really set in, that while we both are searching for the most efficient way to remain organized, (she uses a daring post-it method and I have switched from my gigantic desk calendar to testing out a more compact, spiral-bound one), we both are finding it difficult to set aside time outside of work. Especially when it comes to reading for pleasure. So, this 2015 will not only bring me time with my family, but also the time to read books of my choice that are either for pleasure or for the purposes of benefiting my writing. Be efficient with my time and my words.
I have been wrapping up production on Rachel Kramer Bussels’, “Sex and Cupcakes” – a wonderful collection of really thoughtful essays, where Rachel is exposing her innermost thoughts and experiences. Not only for the benefit of herself, but also those of us who walk along with her, our heads high as “sex positive” people. She discusses her own vast experiences as a sexual individual and a “sex writer”, and I have found myself, as I’ve narrated these very personal words, often nodding my head in agreement. This decision to perform erotica stories for the world via The Kiss Me Quick’s Erotica Podcast was something I carefully weighed before doing. Because I am a woman and a mother, and I agree with Rachel, there is a heavy stigma that goes along with this sexuality oriented career path.
Because it is just the two of us, Dayv Caraway and me, we are around one another, constantly. We are steadily working, concocting new strategies, experimenting with new ways to expedite production. We are ever evolving. Working together, literally side-by-side for the last four years has been challenging. I won’t pretend that it is all happy roses and fuzzy bunny tails over here, because that would be wrong. Sacrifices, more than anyone can really appreciate unless they’ve done the same, have been made just to keep our dream alive and growing. Each and every challenge my husband and I have faced, we’ve faced together and have become closer than I imagined. We’ve had the “Is it worth it?” discussion a lot in 2012. In our hearts we knew that, yes, the incredible sacrifices we had to make were and are still worth it. The sheer will-power it takes just to maintain a positive outlook is indescribable. Our mini-van has a floppy back window, the linoleum in both bathrooms is chipped at the entries, my kitchen tile is… outdated. I also learned that, no matter how psychologically damaging it is, drinking the second half of a pot of coffee from the previous day isn’t going to kill me. But, more importantly, I know that these things don’t immediately matter. Certainly not in the grand scheme of things. And that was one of the most difficult revelations for me. I can be somewhat… stubborn. (Which can be a pesky double-sided coin.)
In this 2015 I really do hope that you decide this is your year. That you finally take that plunge and do what it takes to make your own dream come true. You may need to get help with making that monthly mortgage, not eat out–at all, have late bill payments, wear the same three bras, pairs of jeans and t-shirts for four years, not ever go to the movies–ever, but the reward of doing what you love is priceless.
You may be wondering why I included the picture of UFC Fighter, “Showtime” Anthony Pettis on the Wheaties box above. Why I am smiling the way I am. Well, number one; the determination, both physically and mentally that is required for any individual to become a professional athlete is inconceivable to so many in this world. Though I never went ‘pro’, I know what it is like to push and push my body until it wants to quit. To make the decision to grit my teeth, growl, even drool to keep pushing. I have always had much respect for people who dedicate their bodies and minds to perfecting athleticism. Who can hone their skills so much that they become professional. I cannot express the respect and admiration that I have for the Olympic Athletes of the world. They amaze me, every year. (We can discuss steroid use at a later time) I love this big orange box of cereal because I grew up with it in front of my cereal bowl.
The second reason, is that I am an actual fan of MMA, and was there for what I refer to as, “kick heard ’round the world”. As much as I am also a fan of Ben Henderson, that kick off the fence was jaw-dropping-A-mazing! I am so proud that General Mills put a Fighter next to its brand.
This box of cereal is representative of my own sacrifices and determination. I know what it is like to fight (and continue to fight) for a dream.
Make this your year. I promise, it can be done. If you are willing to grit your teeth, growl and even drool.
♥
Rose Caraway
